Rock, you realize it's ok to be selfish every once in a while right? Even god took a day off my friend. You always mention the community, friends, and family, these are all good things.
You know what's better every once in a while? Me, my motorcycle, my JBL clip on the handle bars, phone mounted for emergency's, rescue kit in back pack and the I'm taking an F it day attitude. 100% serious, I never felt better than I did after a 2 or 3 hour ride. I saw roads and scenery for the first time after "driving" on them for 20 years. I appreciated the beauty of the world around me on a level I never would have prior. I don't live in a city, so there are plenty of back roads around me that I have absolutely screamed my lungs out on at 60ish MPH as well.
You know what was also healing for me...me, my brother, 2 shotguns and a picnic table that was recently replaced that needed to be "chopped" up for the fire. That was a very good day.
I'm not saying these things are for you, but you know what they did for me? Gave me my outlet, Rock, find your outlet, get your self respect back, and take care of yourself.
