My suggestion, write down in an email everything you are feeling. Everything you ever wanted to say to your husband. Write down how this has made you feel. You make that email/letter as long as you need it to be. Make sure it is absolutely perfect. Read it once last time, and delete it.
If he messages you while he's gone, you respond if you have too, otherwise surround yourself with people who love you for the first few days.
Just remember, unfortunately this isn't your first rodeo, you already went through and made it through January. You have this forum you can lean on at any point and journal on as well. You are going to make it through the next 10 days a stronger person.
And lastly, this isn't about you. This isn't because of something that happened 10 years ago. This isn't anything you did. Life is hard enough, go easy on yourself.
