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My apologies for delays in my posting, I’m in the last week of a 3 1/2 week vacation with lots of travelling and long days of activities.
Anyhow, a quick couple of ideas for you to consider.
All my suggestions are for you. Suggestions to primarily heal and help you, and secondarily to give you the best chance at reconciliation. I realize and know the path you are on. There are lots of doubts, uncertainty, pain, sorrow, hurt, and a feeling of needing to do something. Realize doing nothing is doing something. You have plenty of time.
The time and space approach is likely going to happen regardless. W is going to take time and space apart from you. She is right now. You just want to get yourself in front of that. It helps with detachment too.
I am a proponent for letting the spouse who wants out to do the heavy lifting. Unless you need financial protection/security or there is abuse or some such. These situations are the worse part of “for better or worse”. Whichever way this all plays out, will you have done everything you could to save your marriage?
As said, this is for you. Time and space, also allows you to figure out a logical and rational path forward for you. After all, you can only control you.
Find your convictions, values, and beliefs. Strengthen those that serve, craft those you aspire to, and alter/discard those that do not serve.
Your path, is not just waiting around. You live. GAL. You let W go. She’s going to do her thing anyhow. This doesn’t mean you condone it. You place boundaries upon actions from W that directly affect you. These are not some tool or strategy to fix her. Realize, you didn’t break her, therefore you cannot fix her. Boundaries are for you, for you to regain your balance and center, and to remove yourself from disrespectful behaviour towards you. (Example, if she is swearing at you, you leave the room or hang up the phone.)
You can let her feel the loss of you without actually do the divorce paperwork. Focus on you. Continue to move forward.
You are on your journey. And life’s journey is not about the destination, rather how one walks it.
