Originally Posted by teteme55
What makes this a Good Thing: this is my husband, this is HIM, not the JERK who is inhabiting his body--I like your Alien idea, Pattnee5!--it's the sweet, thoughtful man I married. It gives me a little hope that he's still in there, still alive but being overwhelmed by whatever has taken over his mind.

But the other Good Thing was I felt empowered by having a plan in the event he was, again, taking me for granted. I would not feel obligated to wait this time because I had something else to do. I am lucky my friend is so understanding--she's had her own issues with her late husband--and she supported me.

I was like you so optimistic they are still buried deep within. However I have come to realise we can’t sit around and wait for these glimmers to break through because that feeling of “good” soon comes crashing back down when they spiral again.
I would have done exactly what you did a few months back( gosh probably even a few weeks) but now I have been in that situation a bit too often and the feeling is horrible. The excitement of “ oh my gosh maybe he’s changing back” only to be crushed.

My advice for you here would have been to go and make your plans with your friend after the first attemp. I wouldn’t even follow up with a second attempt. If H reached back out to you a few days later just says” sorry I made other plans”. It isn’t a good feeling being “on hold” for someone. It will drain you eventually. It drained me. It’s the whole GAL and 180. Turn the tables and make him chase you again instead of waiting around for him. I think the aliens need to suffer a bit considering what they put us through. Even though I know my H is still in there buried, I don’t want the glimmers anymore. I want him back whole or nothing at all. I deserve more I deserve better and so do you teteme. We shouldn’t be someone’s second thought