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Yes, do keep divorce busting - the books, the site, what you learn, etc. - to yourself. Any attempting to teach or impart your gained wisdom, will appear manipulative to H. And these folks will push and rebel hard against manipulation, be it actual or merely perceived.
DR is your playbook. It’s a path for the LBS, for the left behind spouse. The spouse who is looking for a way out will use it against the LBS.
If H knows you are reading MWD, that’s ok. Don’t preach it to, or share it with him. You communicate it by living it. H is the one who needs to decide to turn his path around.
A few other things regarding manipulation, or suggesting stuff to H. He is on his path, and on his timeline. You didn’t break him, therefore you cannot fix him. This is especially true for MLC.
If you did actually stop his crisis, it would likely only last a while. And the next time he is triggered, his crisis would be worse. I’m kind of wondering if perhaps his last time years ago was prematurely truncated.
Anything you do, no matter how well intentioned, will likely be pushed against by H. The most common outcome from a LBS’ well intentioned efforts/manipulating is a delay of their spouse’s path. At best, it’s neutral; at worst it stalls out the journey.
However, the real big reason - responsibility. MLC is horrible!! A LBS does not want any responsibility for their MLCer spouse’s behaviour, decisions, or the fallout upon their own head. Let H do what he will, let him be the sole owner of that.
Let go with compassion. Seek understanding. We all require a certain amount of understanding before we can/will let go.
You, my dear, are not crazy! Hang in there, and keep moving forward.
