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It's hard to find words for a story like this. I am sorry you had to go through, and are still going through, all of this stuff.
It is comforting to find a place like this. I am reading other forums as well, and am amazed by how many people are living these kinds of painful stories right now, all around the globe. It certainly makes one feel less alone, at least.
You've already come through more than most. Reading your story, I'm not sure I would have made it as far as you have. Here's hoping for a brighter future.