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In the moment I'm not thinking anything except the need to get away. If I were to guess I would say it stems from the inaction on her part and as Kind said, lack of trust on my part. Definitely not looking to make any decisions, just putting thoughts into "words" and seeing how it reads. As Kind also said, sometimes I think about her actions and her lack of remorse for the most part. I know she feels remorse, she just doesn't show it very well. The thing is, I can't imagine blowing up my family the way she almost did even with these new doubts. I just want to figure it out and start a new life. As a family. W included.