Changing my own behavior was extremely hard. Getting posters here to change their behavior is even harder. Changing others behavior is almost impossible.


Originally Posted by Sunflyer
W has outside influences.

She has been in IC for a while. Not with a marriage counselor specifically, although I am sure she is discussing that nowadays. Thus, I suspect said counselor is probably reinforcing her decision to leave the marriage rather than exploring alternatives. (By the way, I caught criticism when she first started going because I didn't inquire as to the specific reasons. Our son had been in IC for a while over different matters, and W said she was just going for her own personal improvement. I left it at that, which ultimately angered her since I didn't probe further).

The potentially scary factor: she is consulting psychics.

This is nothing new for her. Her and mother used to go from time to time. I considered it harmless. She has long known my feelings on this stuff (that it's all [censored]). But she and her mother believe in it completely.

It's really reassuring that the fate of our marriage may hang partially on what these people are telling her. /s
Your post is focused on the wrong person. Look internal. Change the one person you have control of. Change the way you interact with her, and the relationship is forced to change.

She should no longer have any control over you. You lead. You make logical decisions and then behave accordingly. Do not let your emotions control you.