Nothing new to report here, but I have another question.
Learning better ways to communicate is a good part of our personal growth, but I believe talking isn't the solution. Changes to our believes and behaviors is a better "tactic". Your strategy is DBing.
Us men are simple creatures. Most of us are attracted by the visual. I can recommend to the ladies to "look better" and your husband will notice. That is the low hanging fruit. Dress nicer, smell nicer act nicer.
Women are more attracted to the behavior of the man. How do high status men behave? Men of high SMV, how do they behave? There are traits we can make our own to make us more attractive.
So I will give my two cents from that perspective.
Originally Posted by Terapin
Because eventually, she's going to want to 'talk'. And of course IDK for sure how it'll go, based on past experiences I can imagine her starting with something like this:
W: 'Hey, I just wanted to talk. Things got a little off track with my grandma's situation, and thanks for being there for that. But you haven't really said anything about things. So have you even thought about this stuff?'
Assuming this is text or email, I would wait a long time before responding, then: 90% H:"Nope. Been busy." or 10% H:"What stuff?"
Originally Posted by Terapin
The problem is, not only is my W a woman, she's also a professional therapist. So she's much better at these conversations than I am, which is why I typically don't say much.
You are in a hard spot. What is the your purpose of conversating with her? Most guys do it wrong. The worst thing you can do is talk to her like you would a man. Do not be boring. Stiring a womans emotions or turning her on or building sexual tension...those are the main purpose I recommend to you.
Originally Posted by Terapin
But she likes to probe deeper with stuff like "why do you think the M could work?" "What do you think about the M that's worth saving?" It's stuff like that that can trip me up, even with the tips I've learned here. I don't think she does it to really get my thoughts, but more to convince me why my feelings are wrong.
You will never "win" in conversations like this.
This is why we say to avoid R talks like the plague.
Back to a response, "Misinterpret" can be useful at times...
H:"I have been thinking about it a lot. I really liked her and will miss her. Life is so short."
But back to reality....When she does text you, come here, we can give you many options on how to respond. Then you can choose from all the options.
