You need to seek legal advice on what to do and not do at this time. First and foremost, please make sure you have separate bank accounts and credit card accounts. If the cards are joint and she already as a new card, then she doesn't need to be charging on your joint card. If she is still on the card and charging, you will be responsible for those charges if she doesn't pay up.

As for using her lawyer, I don't recommend this. He/she is going to be working for her and looking out for her best interests. It's best to get your own lawyer and know what your rights are.

Is it over? I don't think so, not right now. Can you stop this? No, but you can find ways to delay it, if that is what you want. I wouldn't speak to her about anything legal at this time. This is now a business deal that has gone totally "south". You need to look out for you and your family.

I am sorry you are having to go through this, but educate yourself as much as possible on your rights. Keep focusing on you and if you are having discussions with her, keep them light and off the separation/divorce. Do not share all of what you are doing with her. She can't miss you if you are still sharing with her.