Hello Rejoice

Nicely done. Three good days. Eleven to go.

I like the goals. And how you’re incorporating your affinity for deadlines to help achieve them.

Originally Posted by Rejoice
The first two days he tried to bait me into arguments (I think he stopped at OW's place and was looking for me to give him a reason to justify it.)
I told him I had no time for it and to have a good night.

Well done not getting dragged into an argument.

Originally Posted by Rejoice
The third day he wanted to have a heart to heart. He talked a lot about how I used to act (controlling, disrespectful) and stated that he sees I've changed but he needed to talk about the past. He said again that he's afraid the changes aren't permanent.
I validated him and didn't comment further.

Keep living the new you.

H seems to be using his “afraid the changes aren’t permanent” as another justification for his actions. Validation is well and all, however don’t want to reinforce his reasons and justifications, just acknowledge their validity to him.

Perhaps next time he brings the past controlling and disrespectful up: “Oh, I agree. I much prefer who I am now.”

Originally Posted by Rejoice
He said he doesn't know what to do about OW. He enjoys having a "friend like her" to talk to because he doesn't feel safe talking with me. He said if he just cuts her off completely he feels it's not fair to her because "she's innocent in all of this." I about gagged. I kept my cool but those two statements absolutely disgusted me--innocent, that's hilarious.

Innocent. Ha.

This is a pretty common view for those embroiled in an affair. When trying to end an affair the cheater can feel protective of the other person. There is also feelings of withdrawal. And guilt. And so on.

Best to keep your cool, and stay out of it. H made this mess, and he gets to clean it up. He has to figure out how to end it. And there is usually a lot of drama.

Stick to your boundaries. You don’t need a “friend like her” around.

D