The crux of this problem is that she can keep coming and going and taking stuff. While you keep allowing that, she’ll keep doing it. Change the locks and then text her. “I’ve changed the locks with my lawyer’s approval. Send me a list of everything you need from the house and I’ll have a look over it.”
What I mean by this - you’re not breaking the mould. MWD says what you’ve done isn’t working, so you have to flip the script, not keep doing the same old thing.
After what happened the other day, nothing has changed. Tomorrow she could come and take another pot. Then you’ll argue about it again in front of D. Then she’ll take the pot. Then you’ll bail up daughter afterwards and tell her “I’m trying to be fair to W” to come across as a nice guy.
Then, a day later, she’ll come and take something else. Rinse and repeat. You’re being passive and she’s walking all over you, because she knows you’re trying to nice her back.
You’re actually ENABLING W’s crap behaviour.
As for your IC’s strategy of dealing with your wife, I think it’s wrong. Certainly doesn’t seem to be making things get better. Perhaps you should seek out a second opinion?
Good luck Rock!
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