Right ok, I was making dinner and I have been working on the garden. While everything was cooking, I realized I was not stressed about the dinner - it was all coming together and I had time to do some more of my yard work for 15 minutes. So it was a feeling of competence and confidence that showed me I am growing and being strong on my own.
I did all of this for me. D had said she wasn’t going to be around for dinner. I took note that I wanted to make myself a good meal and I did it well, made progress with the garden and also followed through on going out to bible study. Not long ago, before DB, I was in shock, in fight and flight and couldn’t concentrate on making such a good meal, didn’t have appetite, wasn’t able to do things in such a peaceful, joyful way (going on adrenaline and cortisol) and would have chosen not to go out for a social/spiritual pursuit.
This shows development to me. Really no fluff here. There is concrete times in your life where you were not able to do something and now you can. You let us know it was just for. No one else around. Good for you. Great job hard work is paying off. I made myself a good meal the night my W moved out. She didn’t like pork chops and I did. So guess what I cooked with potatoes basic cream gravy, corn and a cream soda. Boy was that good. I was in a good place that night. Better than I was in a long time because I was happy to be by myself.
