I think you have to ask yourself what is she trying to accomplish here - is she trying to create drama with you, or is someone really tracking and stalking her?
I think a simple:
"If someone is tracking and stalking you, for your own safety, call the police and report it."
Here's why I like this response:
1. You aren't refuting or defending yourself, but obviously if you were the stalker you would hardly be the one to tell her to call the police. I think the really powerful unspoken message is, I'm confident and I don't have to prove it to you or anyone else. That commands respect.
2. If she's looking for drama you just poured water on the fire, whereas adding snark to the equation fans the flames AND gives her a reason to call you an @$$hole so she can continue justifying her BS. I don't know about you, but I have a constitutional dislike of giving someone what they want in a situation like this one.
3. As her husband, you've protected her for years. This simple sentence tells her she's on her own to protect herself. Bet she's not gonna like that one little bit.
Give her what she wants, in terms of the consequences of being a single woman.
She needs to know that if she's a single woman, things like tracking and stalking are her problems to resolve, not yours, and she needs to figure that part out without you telling her so explicitly.
That simple sentence will make her head explode more than any snarky comment ever would. You've validated or at least not told her she's crazy and making something up. You've shown you have nothing to hide or fear from police investigation. You've shown you don't really care to help her solve this if it's a real issue.
That, my friend, is the kind of confidence you want to project to gain a woman's respect.
