bttrfly,

I may be setting myself up to be flamed, but I'm going to address some of the issues that have come up since the "big" announcement. Because I am also involved in creating a new look for this Board.

The Board has looked the same since 1999. It's time to update the Board. There are some forums that are not used but once or twice a year, if that. I have put forth the question of possibly merging them together under a new title or archiving them.

As for Surviving the Big D, it needed a fresh look and/or archived. Current posters are more than welcome to post on the new forum. No one has said that you can't. It will be used to for discussions on how to move forward from a divorce and the difficulties posters face when moving forward/on as well as any other topic that is related to the mission of the Board. The new posters want to read about our trials and tribulations while we navigated the post divorce process. They want to read and learn from us, especially those that have successfully moved forward with their lives.

I will address the questions that have come up about archiving. Yes, there will be archiving. As far as I am aware, the archived forums/threads will still be available for reading, copying and linking into current threads for referencing. As far as posting to them, I'm waiting for more details. If, at some point, that Board needs to delete all of them due to mainframe space, posters will be given ample time to copy them for future reference. This is the same practice that we have used in the past when it comes to cleaning up the Board, generally in the late spring/early summer.

As for threads disappearing...if a poster requests that threads be totally deleted, then we delete them. If a poster wants them hidden, we put them in a safe place. (As I recall, you have requested that we do this to some of your threads in the past and they are still safely tucked away, per your request.) There have been a couple of times when the mainframe has had issues, in the past, and things got deleted, but we would never intentionally delete threads unless we are requested to do so.

As for the notifiy and edit buttons, the people behind the scenes are still trying to fix them. We don't have any control over those issues. All that we can do is keep reminding them that they need to be fixed.

As I told you in a private message last week, you will not be banned and/or moderated. Why are you so concerned about being banned? Are you posting or planning to post things that would be the subject of banning? I would stop worrying about being banned and continue posting, if this is what you want to do. If posters follow the Board's rules/policies and stick to what the mission is, I don't see any problems.

As for the incident with LH, that is between LH and Michele. It is not up to the moderators to tell posters what happened. If LH wants to tell you, then he can, i.e., I believe he is on other social media outlets and is in contact with people who post here. Banning posters is not a new process. It has been used over the years by the Administrator and the posters were not told why. It just happened.

bttrfly, you asked about dating discussions. Here is my humble opinion, I wouldn't discuss it too much. I wouldn't mention dating sites that posters are visiting, since they are not directly related to divorcebusting. I wouldn't mention conquests, i.e., how many dates before having sex, etc. Some of what has been posted should remain personal and not shared here. Would you go out on another social media platform and announce how many dates you went on before having sex? I would hope not! How is sharing a poster's conquests mission related to Divorcebusting? Yes, some of the posters have become friends and tend to forget that we are not on a private site, whereby we are not the only ones that can see what is posted. If posters want to discuss other dating sites or what they did or did not accomplish in finding someone on a dating site, they may want to consider becoming members of "dating forums" out on the web that discuss all of this or go to another social media platform and set up a group, whereby they are free to discuss all of their dating concerns/issues. Just my two cents.

Is the Board safe? Well, it is as safe as any social media outlet can be. However, because it is wide open for people from all around the world to read, I strongly suggest that you not post TMI. There have been times when angry spouses/partners have figured out where we are posting and come here and read, copy and print off info to be used by their lawyers when it comes to separation and divorce situations. Even secured platforms can be hacked from time to time. Even other platforms have the authority to censure what is being discussed and/or banning posters.

For the last year, we have been lenient with posters when it comes to posting other sites, the language and discussion topics. However, with the Board getting a fresh look, we will be going back to editing language, deleting links and identifying other sites that are deleted unless they are directly related to Divorcebusting in some way.

Posters tend to forget that this is a spinoff of Michele's business and she is the one calling the shots when it comes to whether or not we have permission to post here. When we requested a UserId/password, we agreed to follow the Board's rules/policies. We are very lucky that she does not charge a membership fee like other Boards do.

BTW, I hope that one day, Michele will write another book and include more topics that the posters are concerned about.

Here is my final take on the changes that are going to take place, each and every one of us has the freedom of choice, we can either leave or stay and see what happens when the new changes take place. I would hope that posters will stay and continue to provide sage advice and/or guidance to the newbies. However, if you wish to leave, I want to wish each of you the very best. Many of you have been here a very long time and have accomplished so much. You have given sage advice/guidance over the years. Even though you may not have saved your marriage, you saved yourself. Be proud of what you have accomplished.

No, bttrly, I have not taught you well. You did that all on your own.