Hey Dats, I have been using time and space for me. At first when I was learning about it I thought I was doing it for W giving her space and it’s true she said she wanted space so I was respecting that. But I learned from these boards the ideas of giving her more space than she is asking for and having the gift of time for me.
So I am taking big breaks from worrying about W and her behaviours and living my life instead. Not reaching out to her checking my intentions/motives before doing so if I thing it’s necessary and then using less words.
And if she and I do talk or spend any time together, I am settling my nervous sure before with regulation/relaxation skills and not focusing on W unless we are speaking with each other. In that case I focus on listening and being present and not reacting.