Read this:
https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2041795#Post2041795

While I was searching for that post I found these that are worth reading as well:

https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1867242#Post1867242


https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1912680#Post1912680