If a specific post was interesting or useful to you, we recommend that you Like that post. It tells the post author, and others, that you found the information valuable. Clicking Like is another way to let others know that you enjoy it without leaving a comment.
Log in to join the conversation and Like this content.
I can’t even anymore. No one finds this at least a little odd? Or perhaps they are afraid to post what they really think? How does a guy in true tragic form lose his wife, and then take up with one of her best friends within the year - possible within months? Was something going on prior? Am I the only one that finds this healthy if not strange as Fock? Loose your wife, start dating her friend within months and marry her a year after her funeral?
I cannot stop my head from shaking side to side. I guess some guys just cannot be alone.
Until you have been there, and I truly hope anyone here is never faced with that situation, you just don't know.
Understanding the depths of the pain of losing a long time loved one is something that we can all be judgmental about until it happens to us.
Several years ago, I had a cousin that was married for twenty plus years to a woman that passed from Cancer. Within 6 months he had remarried. I remember feeling at that time that there was possibly something before she passed, and I remember feeling judgement toward him for moving along so fast.
Well, that certainly has kicked me in the a$$ lately....
Imagine if you may, being in a relationship with a person that you have chosen to spend your life with, you share everything. You are their sounding board and they are yours. The first person you call when something happens albeit good or bad in your life, the person that comforts you, celebrates you, as you do for them. And to have it ripped apart so soon. Too soon....
It's a pain that you cannot imagine until you have stared it down. The feeling of desperation, loneliness, isolation, the feelings of ending it all so that the pain goes away. Most days deciding whether or not you wanted to live and go on......
What you also don't know, are the conversations that may have been had beforehand between them. I know K talked about who I could be with, and maybe I should think about asking this friend out when she was gone, or I should call this friend of hers for sex if I just needed to get off.....
She also made me promise that I would find someone to be happy with, that could enhance my life in some way like she hoped that she had. Someone to love and share my life with. And that life was too short to be isolated and lonely.
So maybe just be happy and supportive for them, that regardless the circumstances, they have found some sort of happiness from the grief.
One of my quotes that allowed me to be where I am moving through this....
I miss you, yes miss you like a piece of my being has been removed but as life moves on regardless, and I know you would want me to move forward with it
Edward Lee
That grief isn't the same as having your spouse cheat, or want out, or whatever....
There is no detachment phase. You are a devoted, loving caregiver until their last breath of air in the universe as we know it....
There is zero hope that they will ever be back, and the one person that you want to console you is the person that is gone....
So when you can understand that ......then maybe you will understand how a person just wants the pain to end.
I tell my couple friends now, that the best that they can hope for is that they go out together in a fiery auto crash....so that they will never know this.
I hope your friends have found solace and some happiness.
