The current situation is that we are still evolving in the same way. G and I see each other on a weekly basis and are in frequent contact via messages. Last week he was on a ski trip with his best friend pre-MLC and he called at a certain point as there were some frustrations during the trip. His friend is also not the most easy person going forward and he needed to vent because he knew he might lash out at him otherwise. He even mentioned that if this had been the situation last year he would certainly have left immediately but now wants to deal with it in a better way and that is to talk about it first which he has done now. So he is slowly learning and making progress.
The conversations about what happened the past years have stopped in the last 2 weeks. Currently we are simply sort of dating and having fun. Last week, during his trip, he sent a message asking if I would be availabe on Saturday evening to do something together, just the two of us. (first time he asked it so directly). However, I had already planned a dinner with family and didn't want to reschedule this for him, I won't do that anymore. I will continue to live my own life for now. I told him to reschedule our together time to the Sunday evening. Since it was his brother who came over with wife and kids I asked him if he would like to join which he did. It was a nice evening but G again drank way too much. Afterwards, when everybody was gone he ordered a taxi. When he left he gave a hug and said that I have to pay attention that I don't hurt myself again as he couldn't give what I wanted. (as if he would now what I want :)) I didn't say anything since he was way to wasted to talk. He also sent a message afterwards to ask if I would come to his house (for the wrong reasons if you understand what I mean) and I said no, we have agreed to see each other the next day and he replied that this wouldn't happen if I didn't come over now, clearly manipulation again, so I didn't reply anymore. The next day however he immediatly sent a reply to say he was sorry for his reaction and that he really wanted me to come over that evening. I assume he read his messages again, and was quite shocked of what he sent because I'm pretty sure he didn't remember it anymore. We then agreed to watch a movie at his house last night. The atmosphere was very relaxing. He didn't drink at all. He is also very sweet and concerned about me. Much more then he used to be. F.e. it was raining a lot and when I was on my way to his house he texted to say he had moved his own car out of the carport so I could park there so I wouldn't get wet. There is also more and more intimacy between us. By intimacy I also mean caressing, not just the purely sexual side.
When I arrived home again I sent a message to say I arrived safe (he always asks me to do this) and he yet again sent a message to thank me for the nice evening and to thank me for the support he gets from me.
However, I feel very strongly that the this is not yet the time for reconcilliaton. We are really in the reconnection phase today. The future will show which direction this will take. However, I think about it as little as possible. I won't say I don't think about it, but I know it will take a lot of time if we both would choose to move forward in that direction.
If I look at him purely from a distance, I know that he is still in his MLC, that much is clear. See the running behavior and the manipulation when he is drinking...
