She has so much work to do on herself before she's going to be a healthy partner for anyone.
^Right. This isn't a typical generally good partner who got caught up in a rush, it's years of affairs and substance abuse and an OM who's an only recently recovering H addict.
FwdMvmnt - I'm going to give you a quote from my MC when I called her after the 3rd session when then W admitted the affair and that she wanted a divorce. MC told me "You should think about why you want to be with someone who betrayed you.". FwdMvmnt...your W is a bad case. She needs a significant amount of work on herself before she can be a healthy partner for you (or anyone). Do you think she's willing to put in that work? How long do you think it'll take? Like I said before I am very pro-marriage and think for the most part couples should work through things, but when there's serial infidelity and substance abuse and other major issues you really need to dig down here and think about what the healthiest path is for you and your kids.
Like others said, put 100% of focus on yourself and your children. W is going to take her own path, which you can't control.
