This is why ultimatums will either backfire (and then you are left either looking really weak, or taking an action you didn't want to take) or they will appease the ultimatum with no real desire to live up to the ultimatum. (This is for other posters that may read this, by the way.)
What usually ends up happening is that they appease the ultimatum. The LBS gives up on the ultimatum because they think they already "won", when they really didn't. Over time the ultimatum crumbles and the LBS looks weak again.
Well that is why you have to enforce the ultimatum. She comes home quits her job, gets into MC, goes NC etc. or you divorce her. Again just like boundaries ultimatums NEED consequences.
MIKEY P I am not advocating you give an ultimatum until you are ready. I was just responding to the poster on how ultimatums work and are affective.
