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Good question. I'm just not feeling it yet, need to heal a bit more and continue to grow as a person before I head down that road. May be a bit of fear as well. Some of the bad experiences that other posters have shared lead me to be a bit cautious. I'll get there.
T
I really respect and admire that, Taz. My BD series started in 2013, and he filed in 2018, and I am finally waiting for trial in February. I have teens and don't see how I could ever keep food on the table, pursue my art and also find time to go on a date, let alone be a caring and loving partner to someone.
That said, I noticed recently that I caught myself wishing someone would want to take me to dinner once, just to get to have some great conversation with an adult who thought of me as more than a friend. The thought of someone intentionally asking to spend time with me (and actually pay for my food!) seems so impossible and amazing. I would never do the on-line thing but I do sometimes think of it, not to find a partner but just go to dinner!
Also totally agree about the kids. Sometimes I want to pressure mine and sometimes I do, but mostly I try to keep the lines of trust and communication open. I am reading (listening to actually) a lot of books on childhood trauma (most notably the Body Keeps the Score and What Happened to You but for a manly approach I also liked Own Your Past, Change Your Future) to work out my own childhood trauma and how it led me to marry such a dark force of a man -- but I also realize how deeply my kids are living out the trauma they experienced in small ways everyday -- anxiety, aches and pains, fears, lack of focus. My main job is to love them with as much openness of heart as I can find.
(Also your son is correct! I love WV, my mom moved out to Harper's Ferry some years back and I was always amazed at how gorgeous it is, so healing, so much clarity out there in the woods and mountains. As a kid we used to camp at Cunningham Falls, I forget if that's WV or the edge of MD/VA.)
Hey, Taz, based on your posts since you arrived, you seem like a really good guy who does not engage ever in BS. That's unusual! I think if/when you are ever ready, someone will be lucky to spend time with you. But if you aren't, it's also excellent that you are complete on your own. I think that's where I am too.
