This was the first thanksgiving I had with D in 3 years. We stayed at the plaza hotel and went to the macy’s thanksgiving day parade ( my first time, actually) and got really close without waiting because my dad and his wife have their law enforcement badges. The weather was beautiful and it was really cool. We ate at their thanksgiving buffet which was crazy expensive ( all paid for by them) and my daughter ate rolls and prime rib because she eats nothing. Since I have been on my medication, I can barely eat, but I hit up the chilled seafood bar because I wanted my moneys worth. It was a really cool holiday. Last night we watched the hockey game in our room ( frustrating game) the best part was the bathroom and the nice bubble bath I had in the deep tub.
NGL, holidays are still rough. I love what they did for us, but man, I just wish we had that whole big family traditional thanksgiving dinner. We just have no family. We were home by 5 tonight and it was just D and I and she said “ I miss my family” I admittedly burst into tears ( PMS) as well. It’s because I get it. Her family( Cousins , aunt, uncle, grandmother, his wife’s parents) are all hanging out over there playing a game together and she’s not a part of it. And it’s hard for her, I get it. She felt bad and I felt bad, I just explained that I totally I stand and that’s why I got sad. She did ask me if we could try something new for thanksgiving starting next year where it’s her dads, but she will do dinner there and come home for dessert , and switch off each year. I said sure. Whatever makes her happy. I don’t want her to feel like she is missing out and there are certain things I simply cannot give her. And a big gathering with family isn’t one of them. It what it is. But I get it, because I am a 42 year old woman who craves and misses that myself.
I’m off tomorrow and D and I will be Christmas decorating . She will goto dads after dinner and I work Saturday at my second job. I can certainly use this money for Christmas presents and everything falling apart in my house, lol.
The exciting thing is my dad booked the our Christmas present. Going to Tampa and seeing our hickey team play. We will be getting hockey and sunshine in, it will be awesome .
The truth is the holidays just really still hurt inside. I’m not a saint. I still hurt . Not for the same reasons I did in the beginning, but for different ones. But tomorrow is a new day
