Oh my goodness! I almost shot iced tea out my nose. Lol.
Affairing down is a real thing.
It really is. My family and I have been told by multiple people that my ExW's OM1 is a ugly, scumbag loser. In fact, one our long time mutual friends who works for the same employer told me right after BD that she would be shocked if that were the guy because she couldn't see it with him at all. Remember MikeP...it's not always about you or who's better (you vs. OM). Often times it's about the WS running away from what they know because they're not happy (whether you're the cause or not, probably not). Also...there's an aspect of when they're with a person who is not as good they get more praise and validation from that person and feel better about themselves by comparison.
Originally Posted by MikeP
The one thing I defended myself on when she BD’d, was how much I contribute. I cook 95% of the time, help with dishes, all the yard work( we have a lot if yard😁), house maint., etc. I’ve always taken the kids everywhere they needed-dr, dentist, sports, etc. My job makes it easier for me to take off than her. I still change the oil in our cars at home, I don’t trust Jiffy Lube. So, maybe I should slack off some 🤷🏼♂️. I do get lazy in the winter, I admit that, I’m not that dang bad even then.
Your W didn't have an affair because you didn't help out enough around the house. I get the sense you're doing plenty. Absolutely do your fair share, but don't be a doormat either. Wait till she gets a taste of things without you around helping out...she might not like it too much.
Originally Posted by DW17
My wife also had a recently D'd friend that I think gave her the confidence to push for D. Her friend was living it up on dating apps, different guy each night, basically making up for what she thought was the mistake of marrying her high school sweetheart. I'm not sure if she's any happier now, but I doubt her 3 kids are. Oh well. Hopefully it's comforting knowing you aren't the only one dealing with this type of thing. I was shocked at how many people are in the same boat. It's an epidemic!
She's probably enjoying the freedom...for now. Things may very well play out differently over time. And who cares about the kids, right? "Just be happy!" Sigh
Originally Posted by LH19
Be the man Mikey P wants to be and the rest will work itself out.
