If she honestly believes we are no longer together, does it still constitute infidelity?
Yes. Rational, logic, reason, and definitions do not change just because someone feels or believes differently.
Originally Posted by DW17
I think it was more just me trying to view things from her perspective.
From her perspective, she will use that as justification to be unfaithful. Yet, when one’s feelings change their justification falls apart.
Long standing beliefs are rooted in reality. Life’s feedback providing reinforcement, affirming validity of one’s convictions. Wishful beliefs take much energy to continually maintain, as the world, people, events, karma, etc, constantly chip away at a person’s self believed narrative.
The “right” path is surprisingly easy to walk. And everyone has their own “right” path. There are some universal tenets that are generally accepted as guidelines for right and wrong, like what constitutes infidelity. We all weave those into our lives and journey. And someone going counter to their foundation and principles is not that hard to see. Amazing how hard some folks try to make something they are doing to be “right”.
Originally Posted by DW17
And what impact does that have on anything that I'm doing? I'm not sure it makes a difference either way. It doesn't change the betrayal, hurt, affect on the family or actions that I should be taking.
The impact upon you will be as it needs to be. Seeing clearly, not her BS, clearly seeing her perspective and its non logical facade lets you step aside from it. Not buy into it. Affirming you and your values.
We all need a certain amount of understanding to let go and move forward. That needed amount increases as one heals and moves forward. It’s growth. Each facet of our situation we learn more and more, and grow more and more.
Strengthen your beliefs that serve, crafting those you aspire to, and discarding those that no longer or do not serve. That will not change what has happened or has previously affected your family, however it can/will alter things going forward.
Seeing from her perspective, leads to understanding, empathy, acceptance, and forgiveness. And that is a significant impact.
