Every time you spend time on you and having fun - you feel renewed and happier and less depressed!
Yes, it’s important to have a cry and feel your sadness rather than hide from it. But you should only do it for a fixed time. For example:
“I’m going to sleep in, think about and process my marriage problems and divorce in bed for 1 hour from 9am to 10am, then I’m going to get up and do those fun things which make me happy.”
Sadness, anger and helplessness are normal, reasonable and required feelings.
The difference between a normal person dealing with something tough and someone who develops life-controlling depression is exposure time. Put a plan in place BEFORE you start thinking about it, or dealing with wife/lawyers/finance. If you don’t define set limits, it will start to control you.
Another useful tool is the stop sign imagery which I’m sure you can Google. Once 10am comes, every time you catch yourself thinking about her or divorce or lawyers or finance - mentally picture a big red stop sign. It’s a really good mindfulness technique.
