Not many things more difficult in life than to be left behind as your wife goes on a trip with another man. It's completely understandable you're spinning right now. I remember post-BD / IHS knowing W had to "work early" or "work late" knowing for a fact what she was doing. Don't feel bad about being sad, depressed, not having the energy to power though...etc. You're right where so many of us where ourselves. We know what you're going through.
That said...the faster you can "flip the power", get strong not weak, and change into an "FU mindset" the better. Good times are ahead, trust me. The quicker you can get there the better you'll be feeling. And perhaps she'll start wondering what she's losing.
Good for you for not sending the letter. Good for you for not reaching out to W. Now...what ARE you planning to do? Whatever it is, let it be out of strength. YOU are the prize; SHE is going to regret losing YOU.
Hang in there. You will get through this. And we'll do what we can to help.
