The last few weeks have again been quite busy and things will not improve in the near future. I have decided to follow an additional education that fits very well with the work I currently do and which can offer added value in terms of salary. So 1 full day a week back to school and it also requires quite a lot of follow-up, so that, in addition to my work and the 3 children, I again have a fairly full agenda. But I'm happy to have taken that step. I get to know new people again, and my brain learns something new. LOL
The children have all started school again and we are back to the normal regime. S18 is still a handful of work but luckily the good days are more frequent than the challenging days.
The contact with their father is also going well. In those every 2 weeks on Saturday afternoon that they are together, they quietly build back on a connection that was completely lost.
I also started cognitive behavioral therapy. And what a revelation that is to me. I can recommend this to everyone on this forum. You really get to work with yourself and get a lot out of this.
My relationship with EXH (I can say G again) is still going well. He has had 1 relapse since the end of June until now, but otherwise he remains stable and seems to be back to the way he was before his MLC. The relationship with his family seems to have completely recovered, he now sees his best friend on a regular basis and he has bought a house in the town we used to live in (just before BD he absolutely wanted to leave there, couldn't go fast enough as hated the town), the house he now bought there is even a mini version of the house we had there together. He also is back in contact with old colleagues, and finally also a very important person for him who completely blocked him since that person couldn't deal with him anymore, he will now see him again at the end of this month. With that man G had to try at least 6 or 7 times before he finally agreed to meet him again, and G didn't give up until he finally agreed. Talking about persistence...which of course is a good sign. Actions speak louder than words.
The past weeks he is very active with messages to me as well, this almost on a daily basis. Mostly about the children, the recent days more about personal things as well. He sends pictures of the home he bought. He even called just now and we were on the phone for 40 minutes talking about our daily lives. We can get along now like good acquaintances. I don't have any expectations for a re-reconciliation anymore, I just want to build a normal friendly relationship.
He also knows very clearly that neither the kids nor I want anything to do with OW2, although it's not clear whether or not she's still in the picture, but I honestly don't need to know anymore. He takes this into account and keeps this completely separate from us.
I also had a car that he had taken over the beginning of this year, with the divorce. This car he bought just before BD, and was the car I always wanted since I was little. The horrifying aspect was that he had let OW2 drive it these past months. I honestly found this really difficult. But...it turns out that the car was sold last week. This made me very happy. I prefer the car being sold rather than an OW driving it. LOL
I'm quite sure he is on his way to acceptance. But acceptance doesn't mean he wants his old life back. And the same counts for me, I don't want my old life back.
So much has happened, so much time has passed. They ruin your life and you don't have another choice than to go through it and rebuilt it on your own, and then you realize that your new life is actually quite good, maybe even better than it was before BD.
The first 3 years I wanted reconciliation so badly, the past year this has slowly extinguished without me even realizing it.
That is why this quote has been very important to me this past year: The past is behind, learn from it. The future is ahead, prepare for it...
Well, I'm prepared for the future now. Will inform you how it will evolve...
