MLC/WAS is about control... ^^^^ they kinda nailed it up there....
Since I'm about the theory of WAS/MLC... I want you to see the 'why' of DBing...
The more in control that you allow them to be, the more that they will take....
The more in control that YOU are, the more that they will spew and attempt to push buttons on you so that you can be the person that they want to leave.
You being happy, and taking back your life is NOT the person that she has described to her friends and anyone willing to listen to her BS.
IF you respond to her pushing your buttons, and you anger, and sulk...
You are essentially becoming the person that she has painted you to be. And you justify her reasons to leave the marriage...
Remove those buttons, and there will be worse days ahead like this. Yet fear not, every time something like this happens, it means you are doing a better job DBing....
It's kind of like a child throwing a tantrum because you wouldn't buy them candy.....you wouldn't give in because they aren't getting their way...
Same principal here....
I've often used an analogy of the Space Shuttle....
The booster tanks that hold fuel during take-off, because of the amount burned during that process. And once the Shuttle is in it's flight pattern, they will fall away....
Same thing now. Her anger is the booster tanks. She has anger to fuel her "takeoff", and she plans to use it to lift off away from you. She will use it to paint you as this incredible monster that stole her life away from her. It's HER truth, not necessarily yours....yet it is extremely important to validate her feelings, even if it's not your truth.
However, once you establish your flight path, you will slowly see the anger fall away.
She is going to try every trick in the book too, to spin you out .....
Remove those buttons (typically it involves the kiddos)....
Recognize it for what it is, while you are in the moment, and you will fare better than worse....
Pretty sure you've seen her flip the 'bithc switch" already. Going from rational to childlike in a split second....
If not ??
This has been a preview for your future viewing pleasure....
