Dude, I thought you were like a simulation or a bot or something. Everything you posted in my thread sounded like a fortune cookie. Now I can see there's a real, breathing Mach1 walking around somewhere! Amazing.
I'm sorry you had to live through all that. Your EXW sounds like William H. Macy's wife in Boogie Nights (no offense - just the thought of 3 affairs...cripes). I can relate to the overanalyzing, though I've mostly conditioned myself to stop here in month #4. Like you mentioned, I want to improve my communication and response skills. I played a role in the marriage being where it is today, whether or not I want to insist that W was and is prime MLC material.
I can't imagine two years of this on my end. I know you posed the question to me if W was worth the wait, but I feel like things are trending downward. Not to say I'm living my life hinging on every word and action from W...just that the quality quotient of the marriage [censored] balls. Kind of like where you describe your wife talking if she felt the need, but not much deeper than that. We're not quite there yet, but hovering above such communication.
The choice I'm making, as I told Iron Will, is to stand for now and just try to take things day by day. The tenable nature of things for the kids also makes leaving difficult. I guess it's not torture in the house while I'm also trying to reinvent Doug...
Yea....
I came to the boards in a different way....
Bomb was in '07...
I spent the first 8 months of my sitch just reading because I couldn't log in due to firewall schidt at work, and of course nothing at home with a live in....
I came home one night and my ex had taken the kiddos and went to visit family 6 hours away, so everything was pretty quiet for the first time in over 15 years...
I remember the feeling of " F this....if this is truly the plan for me"....
I remember going outside and screaming at God to give me every Fing thing he had, because I wanted to know my breaking point....
the next morning, I was reading through some threads and right in front of me was an email addy for JackThreeBeans, that if anyone needed to talk 'off boards' to please contact him....
That changed my life....
By the time I was able to post, there wasn't much going on in my life except the work on me....
Sooooo....
My first 4400 or so posts have been about helping others here....
And the reason I never had any threads here (until recently)...
Hopefully that has worked a little....
In my 14 years here, I've had the pleasure of helping a dozen or so marriages reconcile, yet better than that, I've helped many people reconcile with themselves...
I have found that with newcomers....Shorter bulleted responses go over better....
Typically there is an information overload, and their eyes gloss over with the longer more explanatory posts...
So short and to the point until the brain stops shakin around a bit....
Plus...you don't really need me to tell you how to live your everyday life.
Next thing you know, you will be posting here asking if you should buy Charmin or Angel Soft...F that...
I tend to post more philosophical stuff, and allow you to THINK, and come to your own conclusions about your life....
MLC theory...
WAS theory...
LBS theory....
What's the line Cadet ???
I couldn't imagine two years either....at that time....
Looking at two years when you are in it, isn't a pleasant thought....
IF you look at it as a whole, you will fail....
Just never eat an elephant whole...you eat it bite by bite...
However that was MY thing...doesn't have to be yours...
Yet you DO have to make a choice......
And stop allowing her to tell you who the F you are.....
