I’ll throw my two cents into the pot, based upon my journey and viewpoints of self.
Trusting in your self and your beliefs and convictions play a big part. A really big part. And trust is earned, just like it is earned from someone else. It is earned from respect. Self respect and self trust, leads to faith of self.
For me the first stage towards healed and whole, was knowing. The understanding of those values and beliefs I am strengthening and I aspire to. Oddly, the second step was feeling it. Emotionally connecting to trusting and such. A mind and heart union as it were. Lastly, is believing it. I liken it to the soul. This is one’s faith in self. Beyond knowing. Beyond feeling. And encompassing both.
Everyone sees the world through their own lens. A person who has difficultly extending trust to others, has difficult trusting themselves. They may know the trust they are after, yet at this time not feel or have faith within themselves. Respect, compassion, forgiveness, loyalty, etc. all similarly extended, or not.
The principles of self shine outward. One is open to others. Has faith in their fellow man. And can risk gain. A healed person will be ok when/if they get hurt. They do not fear being destroyed again. There is a strength in such knowledge and faith.
There are no voids that need to be filled. And yes, I mean “need”. Nature abhors a vacuum or void. After bomb drop, half my life was ripped away. The remaining chunk was smashed and destroyed. I was like most who find themselves here upon these shores, I was hurt, lost, standing within the wreckage, and had such a void within me. A void which demanded attention.
Detachment, letting go, indifference, withdrawal, compassion, forgiving, etc, all steps along a path of rebuilding. Steps which addressed and assuaged my void. Steps of grief and finding acceptance and forgiveness and such. One is not whole if one has a void within.
Life provides plenty of feedback for those who wish to, or are willing to hear and heed. My analytical mindset and technical predisposition melded well with the most fortunate advice/suggestions I received here. Counterintuitive positive actions lead to positive tangible feedback. Which lead to understanding and further positive steps and actions bringing about more feedback.
At times, life’s feedback was negative. I hazard to say negative, for it’s heeding that feedback that lead to learning and growing. In that sense, negative is really quite positive in effect, when one listens and heeds.
In the end, becoming healed and whole, shifts one’s perspective. And one’s situation and reality is defined by one’s perspective.
