No, not rhetorical . I would love to know what everyone’s view of healed enough to pursue a relationship again. Or even to just date
This is certainly a good part of the answer
Originally Posted by Ginger1
I agree, trying to fill one void with something unrelated never works.
Additionally it's also where you are no longer fighting "the last war". Where your former partner, the good, the bad, the whatever has no bearing on the person you might match up with. Certainly learning lessons like "hoarders can be difficult to live with" is important of course.
In my admittedly small experience with dating I have found that what some people are looking for is a more acceptable version of the person they used to have in their lives. In both cases the person I was dating tried to change my behaviour and lifestyle to match what they were used to. I'll keep buttoning up my shirt and not wearing gold chains, and it will be me that writes cards and picks out presents for my own children - thank you very much
And at least from my point of view there's more out to the question than just "healed enough". There's also the willingness to open yourself up to another, to take risks and to have the "space" in your life that could be occupied by another. For me, I'm quite sure that I'm "healed enough" - but those last 3 questions hold me back still.
