B-I read your post yesterday and again and again and it made me cry! Thank you for putting everything in perspective for me. It’s so hard for me because every year since my ex left I said “this year will be different, I wont be alone and I’ll have a family” it never happened. It was a tough bullet to bite getting married having a kid and divorcing before 30. Having everyone tell you all the time you’ll meet someone have more kids, a family, etc, and it never happening.
Far and away one of the most difficult parts of my D was losing my family. It's taken me what, 7 years since BD to start to have a different perspective on this: I DO have a family, it just looks a whole lot different than the one I thought I'd have at this age. I have my son, and I thank God every day that he's still here. I now have this amazing person in the form of his gf who is a pure delight. You know how much I miss my parents, but my cousins, especially those on my Mom's side, are nearby and I'm learning with each passing year how much they care about us. Is it the same? No. Do I miss my exh ... yeah, I do sometimes miss the guy he used to be, but he hasn't been that guy in well over a decade. But I have close friends who are family. At this point, they've been on this road with me for a really long time - my bff from HS, some since my early 20s. I'm talking the inner circle people - and I know you know what I mean because you have them too. So the family doesn't exactly look the way I pictured it, but the people who are here in our lives want to be here, and love us. This is a true gift, G. Embrace the unconventional family you have in the form of your closest friends.
Originally Posted by Ginger1
But I do look at the blessings in my life. A great kid. A career. Friends. My health. Maybe no money, but I have a roof over my head and food on the table and I work hard for the extras. I may not do to well in the area of romantic relationships and men choosing or attracting. But I guess not so bad in other areas.
A grateful heart is key.
Originally Posted by Ginger1
My birthday was kind of miserable. My friend missed her flight, then her second one got cancelled, and my other friend had her last day of quarantine of covid yesterday. So the people I was supposed to spend my birthday with couldn’t make it, therefore, I spent it alone. D stayed, because she was going to a show at the school with a friend. I went to the gym in the morning, ran some errands ( picked D up early from school because she whacked her head the night before and had a headache and no Tylenol) brought D to her thing and got a massage then watched the hockey game. I was just down in the dumps.
Is not-so-little G ok?
One of my oldest and dearest friends shares your bday. She too had a miserable day yesterday. I'm going to chalk it up to getting all the misery out in the first 24 hours so the rest of your collective birthday year(s) will be wonderful!
Originally Posted by Ginger1
Texan did reach out the night before . He admitted to a problem. And he went to his first AA meeting yesterday. If anything comes out of us, maybe it’s recovery, but who knows if he is trying for the right reasons. Another guy from my past reached out to randomly, but not realizing it was birthday.
I'd say that it doesn't really matter why someone starts their journey to sobriety/recovery, just as long as they start it. Sooner or later they will realize that they are in fact now doing it for the right reasons, regardless of how they started, or they will relapse. That's the usual way that goes, from my observation.
Originally Posted by Ginger1
Today will be a better day. My friend’s flight should be coming in at 2pm. Hopefully. They are staying here tonight, hopefully tomorrow we will go to our other friend and the winery.
Thanks for all the support and birthday wishes
Only one way to go from a miserable day and that's up. You always have my support G. xoxoxo enjoy your time with the gals xoxoxo
