You really - REALLY - don't want to share a duplex with her when you're divorced.
No I do not want a duplex, and neither does W. It was more of a pragmatic investigation for wealth growth, but fortunately we don't have the finances. Emotionally, there is no way both of us could survive the build process, it's stressful enough in a healthy relationship.
Originally Posted by kml
As for the marriage - sounds like you're done. And sounds like she never really was what you hoped for in a marriage. That being said - this may just be a case where the two of you aren't a fit. She has every right to be unsatisfied with a marginal sex life. You have every right to be unsatisfied with a relationship that feels so fraught that you're not very interested in sex with her. You each wanted the other to change.
As each day goes, more and more I admit to myself the relationship is over, and that it really never started. There were issues showing from the dating days, before we moved in. And if she came crawling back, I know I'd say no. We both have crossed too many red lines.
I feel a bit more excited about the new possibilities, and the strong desire for a wholesome relationship. DB keeps the sanity during this transition, for sure.
Originally Posted by kml
With that in mind - what can you do to ensure this divorce is smooth and fair, not adversarial?
The divorce so far is going smooth, it's not adversarial. She, with passive aggressive comments, has respected my email boundary. And I have an L visit next week to see where I stand. I don't see W doing the due diligence required. Which is odd because to be legally binding, it must be presented and signed by L. I've thought about putting it back on her since she started it, but now I don't see any point in that. After L, I'll just end up asking her a few questions, and then present something.
