it makes you feel discouraged from trusting people.
After my divorce from my own narcissistic cheating ex, I realized that I didn’t notice the red flags precisely because I DIDN’T grow up with any family dysfunction. I’d had no idea I should be on the lookout for this stuff.
It’s one reason why it’s useful to read up on narcissism and on sociopathy. We want to see the red flags and pay attention to them in future dating. That doesn’t mean we can’t trust again, but we need to give our trust to people who are worthy of it.
Thanks, Kml. Interestingly I also did not grow up with any family dysfunction. Of course my parents argued, but there was nothing major and they always made up in the end, so I don't know how to deal with issues of broken trust in a marriage or things like separation and divorce. My life experience simply did not prepare me for this.
I do hope, however, that now my son sees the current 'dysfunction' in his family he will be able to take all the necessary lessons to be more resilient in his interactions and relationships in the future.
Any suggestions on a good reading on narcissism and sociopathy? I will probably start a reading list to fill my mat leave with
My suggestion would be to find books about how you move forward. Leave the psychology of STBXH behind. Lots of LBSs obsess about the shortcomings of the WAS and it really is a bit misguided in my opinion. My reading was almost exclusively how to be a better person and husband rather than trying to figure out my WW. Of course, for perspective, this was my second go around, the first situation in my MR I was more focused on her than I should have been. Probably in the 2nd too! But much much less so.
