Thanks R2C. Did you ever find out if ex was in an A? What made you realize your marriage was in trouble? My W changed suddenly in about 2 weeks - coinciding with the travel where she met the OM and started A. After she came back, it was 1.5 months of facing a W who had drastically changed and always looking to fight. All our usual triggers of affection did not work and there was no affection whatsoever from her during that time. When I tried to show her affection, she would rebuff me. Then BD.
Lots of us have gone through something very similar. As much as WASs are different, WASs are similar. Most of them, once they decide it is time to make their move, regardless of the trigger (and yes, OP are often the trigger) go into a similar mode. Distant, ready to fight at the drop of hat, no affection, and rebuff affection. It is at this point they have "moved on", if you asked them in a moment of honesty they'd say that the marriage was already over in their mind. (This is how they justify As "the marriage was over!".) But, as we tell LBSs, this was a long time coming from the WASs point of view. Usually 1-2 years into them feeling the marriage was bad, needed to end, and they were planning an exit strategy. In fact, very few WASs meet an OP, and start an A, because the marriage was great. They are usually in this 1-2 years of planning an exit when they meet the OP, or reconnect with an old flame, and guess what the first topic of discussion with the OP is? How terrible their marriage is!
The change to you was sudden, but likely she had been unhappy for quite a while and you just didn't know it.
