I'd like to lend aid to newcomers and lurkers. I was not ready just a little while ago, however I think generalized advice will help while vets better handle the situational advice.

Mods, I have two concurrent threads, the other in a different category. If this is a no go, I'll delete the other which serves for venting and support but really its boring and I'm talking to myself there.

My bias: I am divorced, not interested in remarrying. I believe marriage is something great and divorce was a last resort for me. I don't intend to push others towards D as that is not my intention nor what the forum is for. I hold biblical values but like all, dont always exemplify them.

My goal: There is a crabs in a bucket theory. If you put a bunch of crabs in a bucket, if they worked together, they could climb out. Instead, any time a crab is close to getting out, the crabs at the bottom pull them back in. I don't intend to pull others down. My intention with posts in this thread is to pull others up away from bottom. There are many in the world trying to hold you down, so you suffer with them. They want you on their level. Instead, rise up. Lead. Persevere.

Resources: Plenty of threads with these. Read Divorce Remedy or Divorce Busting. Michele's books in general. Counseling from a good counselor. Exercise, especially heavy lifting, martial arts, boxing for men. Spiritual - find a good church, meditate. Emotional - come to the board. For men, Alexander Grace on YT gives good advice on female nature and mens self improvement. Eat healthier. Connect with friends and family. Learn about abuse and manipulation.

Lurker advice - signing up is really easy and the forums are pretty light here. The likelyhood of being caught posting is slim.

There is hope in fixing your sitch, but the best hope is for you, to fix you and come out of this better. You control yourself and yourself alone. Put your time, control and efforts in to yourself, so that you can navigate your tumultuous journey better. On a plane going down, one must put on their own oxygen masks before they should help others. Even over their own children. Similarly, get yourself in order to better guide yourself, your children or others through troubled and peaceful times.