Hmmm…definitely a couple of things to think about.

LH - Never been the kind of person who does hook ups. It’s just not in my DNA. I’ve only slept with one person in my life that I didn’t necessarily see as long term partner material. I hadn’t ruled it out completely but I definitely saw him as someone who was “here for a good time, not a long time” so I didn’t emotionally invest. Still…we dated for six weeks and the last thing he ever said to me was “I should get you a key to my place so you can come over whenever you want” (he lived on the mainland) before he ghosted me. My intuition was spot on with him… but I had a heck of a lot of fun for those six weeks…lol. I have a long established habit of not getting physically involved with someone unless I am in love or think I could be. I don’t get that feeling with VP even though I really want to. I think if I knew he was in the same place as me (on the fence), I would feel a lot better about going out with him again. But I know he is ahead of me in that department which just adds pressure for me to feel something and that just makes me want to run away from the whole thing.

I’ve also never dated more than one person at a time so I feel uncomfortable even talking to more than one person at a time. I swipe right on someone about once a month…maybe. It feels like a lot of effort but then not making the effort, feels like giving up…and I’ve never been someone who gives up.

T - I actually think I was more goal focused in my 30’s…but my goals were different. Back then I was looking for someone to build a life with and have a family. I’m not looking for that anymore. I just want someone I can do things with… travel, go out to dinner, hikes, play golf, tennis, pool, etc… I don’t need to live with someone or get a joint bank account. I’m pretty independent that way. I think my biggest issue is that I don’t want to make another mistake and end up with the wrong person…again. I also really, really, really hate hurting anyone’s feelings.