The more I get into this, the more I see there is no hope, and I struggle with that.
There is always hope. Although it does get lost once and a while. Probability is a different matter.
The feeling of hopelessness comes with depression and grieving. And like all feelings it does fade and flit.
I do acknowledge you see no hope right now. I understand that. Been there. My friend, have faith, you are just looking in the wrong place for the moment. Perfectly normal and proper. Dig for patience.
Hope comes from within. Not from H or his actions or path. It comes from you, and serves you.
I found some of my hopes did die or end. The hope/wish of restoring my marriage obviously ended with my divorced. Hope is desire yet to be. It lives within the possibilities. My hopes turned to me and my life and choices. And such a wellspring is a wonderful source of strength.
You are doing so well getting into this. In time you will get through this and to the other side, and things will look so very different.
Focus on you. Limit contact with H. Stay the course.
