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I DON'T know how to not take care of people. That is my profession and that is what I have done with him for 11 years.
You ARE looking out for him by stopping those spousely duties--cooking, laundry, dishes, shopping, etc. You're honoring his request and showing him now WHILE THERE'S STILL A CHANCE TO FIX THINGS what life without Cathy as his wife looks like. When my son was in preschool and opted not to wear his jacket, I let him be cold and learn his lesson. That came from love, not anger.
If he responds with verbal abuse, you REFUSE to accept it, because you're worth more than that! Besides, you're showing him you've changed by not breaking down or responding in kind.
I hear you that it's hard to GAL outside your home this week. A girlfriend's house is great!