The journey of the LBS is two paths; the emotional side and the business side.
When considering your business path, keep emotions out of it. Using a lawyer is excellent since they are not emotionally embroiled in this. Realize and treat things as a business deal gone sideways.
If you need financial protect or security, get it. Deal with the business at hand. If you are ok finically and need not press things, then perhaps you can risk delaying proceedings. Either decision may, or may not, influence your H. And any influence which might happen could be positive or negative. It is quite difficult to predict how a MLCer will react, for they are driven by their unrealized feelings.
Advice: Do for you. Make decisions based upon your needs and wants. And base those decisions upon logic and reasoned thought. Decisions based upon on emotions usually lead to regret.
The emotional path. Your journey towards healed and whole. The traversing of grief - denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Ah, acceptance, which is basically emotional understanding.
This journey is twisting, with many curves and back tracks. There are traps and pitfalls, and many lessons to learn. And, there are many many blessings which will be uncovered and revealed. This is truly an amazing journey. I’d not change a thing, it really is that worth it.
It is pretty clear you are passed denial. And rather obvious you have a nice healthy anger you are expressing. Very nice to see. You don’t want that bottled up inside you.
Working through our feelings occurs on many levels and in many different ways. Conversing is an awesome outlet. Another great venue is physical activity. Something to sweat the anger out of you. Running, jogging, digging in the garden, boxing, hitting and yelling into a pillow. Healthy and safe releases of emotions. Feel the feeling and then let it go. Let it wash over and away.
Feelings are fleeting.
Feelings are born from our subconscious self. They are not directly controllable. They can spring up in a near instant and can fade almost as fast. Any left alone feeling will flit away usually within one to two minutes. Particularly persistent feelings left to their own can last up towards 15-30 minutes.
However, most feelings flit within minutes. Unless they are reinforced. And we reinforce feelings from all manner of input. Thoughts, physical action, beliefs, and even other feelings. We also craft and create feelings from the same that influences them.
How about an example?
Smile. Curve your lips up. Higher. Show a bit of teeth. Do you feel that? See how you feel happy? Immediately happy.
Relax your mouth. See how the feeling fleets. That happiness faded within seconds. Yes?
Now, frown. Curve your lips down. Furrow you eyebrows too. Feeling sad/angry?
Relax again. And it fades.
From plain, to happy, to sad, to plain. All within four sentences.
Feelings are fleeting.
And feelings can be influenced.
Finding emotional understanding / acceptance, that is what the emotional path is about. Seeing our emotions. Understanding them. Being compassionate. Finding empathy. Finding forgiveness. Finding acceptance.
Just a bit of a road map for you. Some encouragement and affirmation that you will be alright. Even those it feels quite different right now.
H and OW have built their relationship upon deceit and lies. Their foundation is like sand, and nothing grand can be build upon such a weak base.
They are not in love. They can tell themselves whatever they like. Yet, it is not true. Neither one is capable of love at this time. They are broken. And broken attracts broken.
Originally Posted by Stella20
I know, its not about her. But, UgHHHHHH I hate her.
Let it go.
She is but a symptom. She is not the prize. You are!
Let her go. She is not worth your energies. You are!
