Just checking in. Keep moving on. Doing my thing. Working on becoming the best me I can be. Crying in the shower or car seems to be my thing when I need it. It’s less and less. But some days are harder than others. Blessed to have you guys, my coaching group and friends to talk to.
D’s now 18…whew..birthday was so amazing. I took her out to practice driving in the morning, D, H, and I took the dog hiking and then had an amazing dinner. The staff brought out cheesecake for my D for her birthday which she doesn’t like. So H and I split it. Then he asks he what she wants instead. So on the way home he makes a special stop at DQ to get her a blizzard. Not sure he would have done that 6 months ago.
Tonight D18 and I had a special night. Wicked then dinner. We both really liked the movie and both cried. We spent an amazing dinner analyzing it. We’re nerds.
D19 comes home for Thanksgiving wed. Looking forward to seeing her and to spend Thanksgiving with me dad. I think this will be the easier holiday. Christmas I think will be harder. Probably my favorite holiday and I always get a little emotional now that my mom is gone. Time will tell. I love giving gifts and seeing those smiles on my kids faces. So time will tell what happens.
H has already told me he wants to watch our college football team together tomorrow and have some drinks together. In the back of my head I keep wondering if this is like bd when I thought things were going okay, but then I know I’m different now than I was then.
I actually had a thought the other day wondering if he was lying about where he was and actually looking for an apartment or with OW. You know the stories in your head. And I actually thought, well what if he is. Not like I can do anything about it. It really surprised me having that thought, but it’s so true and that it just popped in my head and I accepted it. Was quite the feeling. No expectations.
I am sure you are looking forward to your D coming home for Thanksgiving. Enjoy the time you have with her. It sounds like your h was ok with going out to dinner for her birthday and then stopping at DQ to get her a blizzard.
The holidays can be very rough for those who have lost family members over the years. When you feel emotional, pull out those wonderful memories that you shared with family and allow the warm glow from those memories wrap you in a warm blanket of love.
As for your h, no expectations. Keep focusing on you and your family. Plan some fun things to do during the holidays and if he wants to tag along, so be it. Control you and what you can do and leave the rest in God's hands. He is the only one that can drive the bus.
Happy Thanksgiving and I want to hear all about the fun things that you did with your family this holiday.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Glad to hear D18’s birthday went well. Sounds like h/Dad managed to step up.
Originally Posted by bkerchik
I actually thought, well what if he is. Not like I can do anything about it. It really surprised me having that thought, but it’s so true and that it just popped in my head and I accepted it. Was quite the feeling. No expectations.
Excellent!
Yes, it is rather surprising the first time we think, we feel, we accept like that. Quite the milestone.
Keep on doing your thing. Like job said, make family plans and let H join in if he wants to.
How’s the driving practice going? A rather stress inducing rite of passage. In the end, a good stress. For both parties.
Hope you’re having a wonderful day.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
