I was able to get to sleep fairly easily last night, which is usually the case. (BTW, I DO take my sleeping pill at night before bed, but I usually wake up between 2 and 4 in the morning again, so when I told you that I took a sleeping pill the other night, it was a second one...) I woke up at 2 last night and got up and MADE MY LIST already for today to do. I make a pretty big work list, which I think will be too much for one day to do, but I will prioritize it when I get to the office so that I don't feel too overwhelmed. My personal item on my list for today is to go shopping for an hour from 7:30 to 8:30 tonight and be home by 9 for the American Idol results show!
I woke up again about 5:30 and couldn't get back to sleep, so now I've taken another sleeping pill... hopefully I will get sleepy again soon. I also threw up just now, too.... God, help me... So I took some Pepto Bismol for my stomach, too. I know I should probably just get up and start my day, but I'm trying to sleep as much as I can right now, both to make myself get rest and also because when I'm asleep I don't have to think about this and be so uptight....
Penny, I checked my Wellbutrin, and it's 100 MG pills, and I take two of them twice a day, in the morning and at night. My doctor had me work up to that gradually, starting with just one at night, then adding one in the morning, etc. I do seem to recall him saying that we may have to work on the doseage to "get it right."
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I was a lot like you and it finally came to me I was like a caged animal. I couldn't think straight and couldn't get a hold of my emotions. It was like you couldn't control it. I even would go down stairs at work and when it was snowing and walk back and forth to try and get control of those feelings.
Penny, this is EXACTLY how I've been feeling the past little while.
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Once I have changed the dosage I feel alot better and can think straight and have become the old person that I know.
Yes, this is the point I need to get to. I honestly felt SO MUCH better the first go round of this whole thing before we went on our first trip. I wasn't even taking ANY medications back then. I'm not sure if that's part of it or if it was because I always had our trip to look forward to and the fact that he said we were going to give our M another try, so I just had to "hold on" for a while. This time I don't know what to expect and know it's mostly up to ME to change. I just wish I FELT BETTER so that it would be at least a little bit easier.
When I was at the doctor's office, I was reading about depression on the wall and all of the signs to look for (of course I have most of the signs...). But I guess I don't feel like any of those things are getting better, but actually getting worse...
So I started taking the Wellbutrin right when I went to Vegas - picked up the RX on the way to the airport. So maybe now that I'm up to the full doseage it is doing weird things to me? Is that possible? I am having that feeling right now - you described it so well - like a caged animal. Most times if I hold my hand out straight, I'm just shaking... My doctor is out of town until next week. My appointment is next Wednesday. I really would prefer to wait to see him, but maybe I need to see another doctor in the meantime. Going through another week of this is hard to think about... that's how bad it is. Or maybe I should call and talk to a nurse there about it and see if I should cut back on the Wellbutrin until the doctor gets back?
Penny, what doseage are you taking of the Wellbutrin? I know it's different for everyone, but I'm just curious. Anxious feelings are creeping up again... I need to walk around for a while... I'll be back...
