Wishing, Thank you so much for your kind words. I appreciate it very much.
Flicker, I also appreciate your sharing your story. I believe that one of the primary reasons I wrote this book is for people like you. I have seen so much hurt in marriage because of a void in people's intimate relationships. One spouse feels rejected, hurt to the core and angry, the other distant. Unfortunately, too many couples don't discuss feelings about sexuality frankly and when they do, the way they discuss the issues often makes matters worse. Blame and frustration on both parts leads to a sense of hopelessness.
I'm really glad you're going to counseling and I hope that your counselor helps both of you understand what you need to do differently to achieve more intimacy. I also hope s/he is absolutely clear to your husband about the importance of connecting physically. Too many counselors/people buy into the idea that unless you are completely in the mood, sex is out of the question. That's rubbish. When I work with couples I make it perfectly clear that relationships are about loving each other, taking care of each other and being sensitive to each other's needs. This is true about every aspect of marriage. You need to care about your spouses feelings re: how free time is spent, how you manage money, decisions about parenting, where to spend the holidays, who does what around the house and even issues of sexuality. I make sure every couple I meet understands this principle. Relationships are about mutual care-taking. If more couples understood this principle, I would be out of work. And wouldn't that be nice?
So, Flicker, read the book, ask your husband to read it too and let me know what you think. Michele
