Tam...write down what you need to do for tomorrow...and get it done...if for some reason you can't get it done...or you need to delegate some of this back to H now would be a good time...I would just say something like "I am not feeling up to par and these things need your attention right away. Will you please take care of them."....do this by email or test message...avoid personal contact....this will avoid making him feel guilty...
Geez - this is such good practical advice - and it will totally work.
Tam - I didn't tell you timeframes to suggest you are going to be looking at anything like those, but rather to illustrate that I let myself be in pain for that long because I kept trying to find ways to fill the grief, rather than grow a strong sense of myself into it. ONce I figured out that I really had to work on myself, it happened relatively quickly.
You can do this. You have all the resources available to you and when you are using them you make good progress.
You need to return to thinking about what things you can do to make yourself stronger and better able to deal with this.
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You also need...and I mean this...you need to stop obsessing over H and the OW....
Ditto. Enough said.
On your list of 'must-do-for-the-business' that you are going to write for tomorrow, you should write just one 'must-do-to-build-my-emotional-health' thing. It can be anything, go for a walk, take a bath, watch your favourite programme, go to the gym, eat an icecream - anything that u can use to treat youself with. That will be a start to continuing to heal yourself.
V
Never make someone a priority, who makes you an option.
