it's been a little over a week now - and things have become difficult pretty quickly.
H and I attended a party this weekend with a lot of old friends of ours, and mixed with some newer friends. H did not approach me, i always had to walk up to him. often he found a reason to walk off.
he is very angry and resentful of me right now, and honestly i am scared to death that he is going to decide to leave again. he is snippy and i can't seem to do anything right even though i am doing everything in my power to make our moving back in together a smooth transition for all.
it's like all of the emotions he was feeling when he came back this time are gone. i am not sure what to do. we have not started counseling yet, i guess that is going to have to come very soon. i am so thankful to be starting our life over again, but i am also worried that he is never going to be able to let go of the past. i know, i know, give it time.
Piecing can be hardly than living apart. A lot of the piecers are so thrilled to have their spouses back but, in reality, the pressure is even more than it was when they weren't there.
I never had a WAS but it has been hell living through all the emotions of the roller coaster and I haven't got off that ride yet (and you would think I would be seasoned, being it is my second time around with this crap)
He's home, that is the main thing. But, you have to stop persuing him - keep your distance and give the man some space. Maybe he feels like things are closing in on him and he's being pushed into doing things too quickly. He came back - enjoy that part of it and try to GAL and do other things to keep you and your mind busy
Heywyre
M - 57 H - 65 1st A-bomb - Nov 27/02 2nd A-bomb - Dec 13/06 together 21 years *************************** Insanity is doing something over and over and expecting different results (Albert Einstein)
working on the third week of living with my H again... things are really rough. i feel completely neglected - H has stopped telling me he loves me after about 4 days. he will say it back if i do, but no longer volunteers it. we ML if i initiate it, but he doesn't try - seems uninterested. i know this is not a good sign.
he always seems far off and disconnected from me. i've had a couple of goof ups, but try to keep a PMA. i am starting MC tomorrow, invited H to come along if he is interested, he said nothing. it's like he made the decision to work on the marriage and now he has changed his mind again. seems to feel trapped.
Nice to see your post. I was wondering how you were doing. I'm sorry things aren't going as well as you'd hoped. I said it before and I'll say it again, I think you're level of expectation is too high. He's going to have to settle into things a bit.
Also, this is a good lesson for those wanting to literally get back together as quickly as possible. It can be difficult and while the WAS is gone it seems like what you'd want, but there are a lot of issues to deal with and because they can't all be addressed and resolved at once, many of them are left hanging around, tripping up both parties, and making progress that much more difficult.
My best to you as you discover these pitfalls and work to move beyond them.
I like yourself am feeling like this kiki. My H said he would like to try again but am really feeling at the moment that he dont want to and is distancing himself again. My H has not come home we are supposed to be doing the "dating" thing but the only places we go we are going with the kids which is ok but we dont get any us time and am a bit unsure of how to approach him over that.
What Im trying to say is that i think they all go through this sort of detachment thing and are still unsure ahich makes us unsure we have just got to ride the rollercoaster ad hope we come off ok
Hugs HB
M35 H35 T 14Y M 6Y 2 D 10/14 bomb & M/O 4/2/07 "trying to piece" 1/4/07 http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=998053&page=1#Post998053
