29 - you are in dispair. The agony of the pain of loss, the absolute apathy about anything in your professional life, your inability to commit to do things that are going to help you get better (exercise, move your office etc).

As unbelievable as these feelings are - they are the same feelings many of us have experienced. I remember a period of at least 6 months (from about 3 months after separation to 9 months into the process) that I felt like that. At the time I had a great team of staff who literally carried me through the worst of times. I couldn't concentrate. I cried ALL the time. I couldn't prioritise my work. It was hell.

I remember saying to you a few weeks ago when you were going to the Dr for medication that there is no magic pill - and girl, there just isn't. I would have found it. I wanted a pill to fill up the void in my heart - and I looked for it - I tested quite a few - some legal, some recreational, I also tested alcohol, casual sex and out-of-control shopping - but none of those can fill the void that the breakdown of your marriage left. Only rebuilding myself could do that.

There are ways you can cope better. Google 'coping skills' on the internet. Go to the bookshop and find books on recovering from loss, exercise, GAL, keep a positive mental attitude (PMA).

Tam, it took me at least 12 months to stop feeling the way you are feeling now. It took another 12 months to get to a point where I could honestly say I felt human again - and it's only now, about 2 and a half years later that I can honestly say I feel happy again.

There is no easy way to get through what is happening to you now. You just have to go through it.

V

Never make someone a priority, who makes you an option.