Friends, It seems like what I'm worrying about lately is a party that W and I have been invited to next weekend. The host is a member of the local dance community, where W and I both dance.
The problem is that I'm wondering if I can be comfortable in a small social setting with my W at this time. It's OK when we're in a dance setting because dancing is the focus, and she's usually on the floor, and not socializing. The party will allow for more conversation.
I don't know if I can relax enough, knowing that she will act like we're not a couple while there. She clearly doesn't want to be known as my partner, when we're in social settings. The host will wonder what's wrong, if I choose not to go. It seems like my ability to be comfortable should be the determining factor in deciding if I go or not.
I don't know if I'm allowing fear to take over, or if I'm missing an opportunity for something positive to occur, that I'm not seeing. At this time, I'm leaning towards not going to the party.
Even though we have some platonic connection, I know that the M is devalued at this time. I don't want to put myself in a vulnerable position to be humbled in front of my peers.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
