gonna need more than mysterious now.....

[25yearsmlc]

K,

Yay!! You are not dead! You were Not killed by a bulemic raging prune faced OW or cowering H!! Oh joy!!

Well, The answer about "asking for money" of WAH ("allowance, dad?") is to get it from the court system so they automatically deduct it from his paycheck. The government and military are not the only entities that do this. No way should we have to ASK for money to feed HIS/OUR children. Absurd. I would not want to have to ask or hope or worry or whatever, that he might not live up to his word....hello??? Yep, you have to make a motion in court to do this and I don't know NY law (except it's hard to prove fault there). In some states you just show a notarized copy of the divorce decree/property settlement, or interim support order, and bingo, it works. You can also probably do it through his work, which HE will love....But I do know you have more power in this sitch than you realize. My sister thought the idea of her ex writing out the check each month would make her feel good. But ow wrote the check and that did NOT feel good. In fact, when the check was sent one month late and her ex/ow were in arrearages, OW wrote a "nice note" about how short they were on cash then, what with the birth of THEIR baby and all.....

So she gets it straight from the gov now. That's what I think I'd do. Anyhow, I posted on piecing and it looks as if I'm heading north this summer. I still worry, fret and find weird things trigggering painful feelings in me, not just anger. Part of me sees H differently and I am hoping he will do as he says and "make it all up to me"
"be the H I deserve," and things like that. He does say things I need to hear. I see d18 a bit more at ease with him, but I doubt she'll ever see him the same. Still, that doesn't mean she won't forgive him. I think she is working on that, but I know she tries not to have expectations of him and that breaks my heart.

All in all, I think the time apart has helped H to see the value of his family more. He says he is "lonely every single day and night." (I know, wth was he thinking??) He does not like being away from us, his kids and he really values my opinion on things. Asks for advice on HR issues, wacky patients, how Not to get sued, etc. So our friendship allowed him to feel comfortable and I still bite my tongue when he "discovers" downsides to being 3000 miles away....but we are moving toward each other, and not away. And we are keeping this house, empty for a while. I know it's very pricey to do, but I have to know I have an escape route for sunshine at least the first winter. Besides, if the streets are all filled with gold, what's the prob?

OMG, the other day a "certified letter" for "H, MD" came to the door. NOT a good sign when h is a doctor. So I go to Post office as H is on the tundra. I wait b/c postal worker goes at GLACIAL PACE and tells me, after I rang the bell, that I "woke him up." I swear. Anyhow, there is now a long line behind me and I am rattling my legal saber and getting my warrior lawyer armor on (mostly b/c suing H could take food out of my kids mouths, not to mention mine)...Finally, I get the letter and it says "IRS" and I say, out loud, "Thank God It's From the IRS!!" Postal worker says I'm first one to ever say that. I say, "This could be SOOO much worse."" Now, people in the line seem uncomfortable around me....and btw, it was a pretty nice letter, I mean, for the IRS.
Sorry to hijack, will post more later.
j-