My Heart's Journey into the Unknown

[princess_nic]

I never seem to find the time to respond to those of you who post here, so I will do that today.

Jeff:

He is a Bast**d. With some it is an accident of birth; he is a self-made man.

That made me smile. Thanks for letting me know there are good guys out there.

ISLH:
Thanks for always being there for me.

It takes 2 and you are the only one willing to work at it so really, HE is to blame. You did not ruin his life; he is responsible for how his life has turned out and unfortunately his decision also impacts your life and that of your children.

Yes, this is true. I did try, very hard. He took that path of least resistance. I am trying not to judge that, but it is hard! He is just a weak person who runs away from his problems instead of making the effort required to confront and fix them.

How can you believe he will be happy? He THINKS he is happy with his new gf but just give it time. Didn't he also think he was happy with his previous gf? Where is she now?

You are right about this. He was "in love" with ow and planning a whole new life w/ her...till he actually left and it became more of a reality.

in fact your H doesn't deserve YOU. Believe me, it took me a while for me to get to this point but I no longer feel guilty. I am sad but no longer feel guilty because I never gave up and in fact like you I'm still willing to work on the M but you can't do it all by yourself. Your H is always looking for the easy way out.

Logically, I do believe this, I just don't know why I'm having such a hard time getting it into my heart, not just my head.

I have set him free. You need to do this not for him but for you.

Yes, you are right about that.

It is normal to have these thoughts but I know how much your children mean to you so do not act on it. You are a much better person than your H and even if you don't see it now, everyone will know it if they don't already. I am glad you are seeing your T again because he will help you see what a wonderful person you are because I don't think you really believe in yourself right now.

Thanks so much for this, ISLH. I really almost called H on Sunday and told him to take the kids permanently. Thank goodness I didn't. The last thing I need now--right before custody negotiations--is to look like a nutcase!

You're a sweetheart. I am so looking forward to meeting you IRL someday.

Holly:
Nice to see you in these parts!

That is not a happy man Nic. He is a lost man, and he thinks he sees relief from his pain and guilt in the future. He will not find that. He does not know that. He can put an a mask you know. He is not happy.

I think he actually is happy, at least on the surface. I'm not even sure that he knows what real happiness is. I think his mask is fooling even himself. How could someone who has hurt others so badly really be happy w/ himself?

Use the skills that you have at hand when working with your students. Do you see them as all bad, or all good? No. You see a composite of strenghts and weaknesses. You teach to those.
Now you are a smart lady, reflect on this and how to adjusts your black white color dial.

This is a really good suggestion, Holly. I hadn't thought of it that way.

My hunch is that GF relationship is not that stable. She is pushing and now he can report that LS is going forward, and he thinks he sees relief. Wait till that does not happen.

I agree with you here. I think she is looking for a new daddy for her little boy. I mean, she baked my kids cupcakes last weekend!! Sheesh! This is NOT a lady looking for a short-term R. I could be totally wrong, and maybe he is looking to get M again, but I doubt it. When we are D, I'm guessing she will really put on the pressure. Be interesting to see what transpires.

If the D is what you want, then good. In the end this is all about finding happiness and joy in our lives. It will come in small doses now, but wait till it comes in larger doses.

The D is not what I wanted, but I do see that it really is the best thing for me right now. Will H look back and see that he's made a mistake? I don't know. I think so. But I also think I'll have moved on by then. If not, we will end up together. It's in God's hands now. I need to move past this and get on w/ my life, letting go of hope for reconciliation.

Thanks so much for posting.

I will continue in a new post, in case I lose this one!